You say tomato, I say…sod off!

Recently, I was stumbling around and decided to look up the score of some of my favourite films. If you’ve never tried this before; a word of warning. It may completely shatter your perception of cinema history. You might be cursed to find that one of the movies you clearly regarded as a hit, that charmed you in your youth, and that was integral to your development as a child…was in fact panned by critics across the board. Take this for example:

What-tha-F critics?! I’m going with the audience on this one. Hook is a lovely re-imagination of the Peter Pan material!

Oh fuck you Roger Ebert! You just don’t get it. You’re part of the Baby Boomer Generation. I’m part of Generation Y, we grew up with “Spielbergian” kids film in the cinema and in the VCR-player. Not to mention that this movie features amazing effects, comedy, music, and rip-roaring sword-fights. That’s why it appeals to me, you dick!

Oy vey. Fine,  you may have dominion over Rottentomatoes, but you will never soil the hearts and minds of the filmmakers themselves.

Fuck, everyone hates it. Alright, well I’m going to recommend it anyways. See, these movies are like medicine; you may not like the taste but it’s good for you anyways!

Hook is the wonderful tale of what happens after Peter Pan actually grows up. He has forgotten his past and sunk deeply into his comfortable office life as Peter Banning. So what element of Neverland returns in order to pull him back into that world? The clue is in the title. Over the course of the story Peter has to reconnect with his old self and re-discover the marvels of being a playful kid in order to save his own children from the infamous Captain Hook.

It’s so much fun and, because it’s Spielberg, it’s also a wonderful story with a beautiful message. It reminds us about the energetic joys of being a youngster without ignoring the important treasures of being a parent. Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you can’t play games and have fun. Creating memories is just as necessary in life as forging a career. These are all ideas that the film flags up and that we can all agree are valuable.

I will admit that the films blue-screen effects, makeup, and yes…sword-fights…seem a little dated by now. However, it’s more than made up for by Spielberg’s typically masterful use of cinematography and editing as well as John William’s musical score. Also, one final note:

I’ve never thought Julia Roberts was particularly pretty…but dressed up as tinkerbell:

Come on, am I right? Huh? Yeah? No? Seriously, I’m not right? You never…? Oh. Ok then, all I’ve done in that case is defiled a segment of your childhood memories, sorry.

Maybe it’s the short hair, I think I have a thing for that.

So if you haven’t seen this sparkling gem yet, you must do so now! In fact the whole movie is on youtube, but I recommend you watch it in high-def and preferably through legal means, as it will help support the people involved. I really can’t stress it enough, it’s great!

Also, here are some cameos that you may not have known about.

…and you thought Glenn Close only dressed up as a man in Albert Nobbs.

Rant Over!

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