Inconceivable

A while ago I was recommended to do this recommendation, so now I recommend you read it and implore others to do the same.

The Princess Bride! Never heard of The Princess Bride?

What, you were never a kid? You popped out of your mothers womb with a suit n’ tie on, ready to go to work? Come on! It’s The Princess Bride, man! If you haven’t seen it, chase it down like it’s a gazelle. Rent that muthafucka’, or even better; buy it.

This movie is every fairytale cliche’ blended into one story. It has landscapes, oceans, forests, castles, kings, princes, princesses, swashbucklers, giants, pirates, thieves, swamps, monsters, marriage, revenge, honour, betrayal, friendship, and of course ‘true love’. It’s been referred to as The Wizard of Oz of its generation, and I agree.

The film starts off with a grandfather reading a story to his grandson. As he does so we are brought into the fantastic world of Florin, where a romance is brewing between the young maiden Buttercup and her farm boy Westley. The two are separated and Buttercup ends up engaged to marry the corrupt Prince Humperdinck. Before this can happen, however, she is kidnapped by The Dread Pirate Roberts…

…urgh. Seriously, the story goes off on all kinds of twists and turns. I can’t be bothered explaining it all, and in fact I shouldn’t. You need to be surprised by this film, and you will be. It’s mythical, epic, corny as hell, funny as fuck, and even features random gymnastics.

Of course the heart of the movie is the much-mentioned ‘true love’. As fluffy and typical as it may sound, it’s a preeminent pleonasm that I think we should all reflect on (thank you ‘online thesaurus’). There’s so much false affection in this world. People pretending to care, and not giving a shit. Individuals who use others as backups until someone more interesting waltzes around the corner. Hollow spouses who treat others like plastic. “If it breaks, I’ll just get a new one!”. ‘Gold diggers’, ‘sluts’, ‘players’, and ‘fuckbuddys’ all trying to splash in the pool without getting their feet wet. But true love is genuine. It means giving yourself over to someone, someone you care about more than yourself. When they need you, they shouldn’t even have to ask. But if they do, your answer will always be…

This movie is as charming as its heroes and heroines. The use of blatantly false backdrops, fake british accents, ridiculously gorgeous people, and expositive dialogue helps to remind us that this is a fable. So, for anyone saying that it’s excessive; it’s meant to be. In the same way as Titanic, the main story is simple but highly effective. Rob Reiner clearly set out to create a 98 minute fantasy soap opera that actually works, and he succeeded.

Rent it, watch it, love it. If you’re human you have no choice. There’s something in this for everyone.

And for those of you who do remember this movie, here is a little treat for you.

Rant Over!

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