Ménage à Trauma
*Ring* *Ring*
Oh, I know what that means. It means it’s Halloween again! In just 4 days! Yay!!!
Meaning that Halloween, this year, will take place on a Friday. As you’ll recall, I have my annual tradition of watching 3 horror films back-to-back-to-back from sunset till 2 am. 6 hours of horror (give or take), pre-selected with intense scrutiny. Those who’ve visited this blog before will know that I call this tradition, my…
HallowThreen, complete with sugar and pizza, is my favourite self-declared event of the year. This time I’ll also be swirling coffee into the mix. Yupp, I’ve started drinking coffee, and now it’s a necessity! So, since Friday is gonna be a long night…
Wait. Friday? FRIDAY?!! I work on Fridays!
No, no, you don’t understand. I work late on Fridays! I don’t get off work until 9pm. That means I’ll be home around 9:30 and won’t get fully started until 10, so if the movies each take 2 hours on average, I’ll be up until 4 am. There’s no way I’m making it till 4 am after a week of getting up at 5:30 in the morning. Perhaps I can stay conscious, but enjoy the last 2 films?…No way, they’ll hardly register in front of my lead-lined eyelids.
But I must find a solution, even in the crosshairs of a brutal compromise!
What I’ve done is sourced three movies. Specifically, the three most promising horror comedies I could find. I wanted something scary, but…honestly this hasn’t been a good year for scary movies from what I can see.
What I need to do is pick one to watch, and I’m hoping you guys can help me.
“If the worst day of your life consisted of accidentally killing your girlfriend with an axe, chain-sawing your own arm off, and watching in horror as your closest friends were devoured by a zombified Nazi battalion, you’d have to assume that things couldn’t get much worse. In Martin’s case, that was only the beginning.”
– IMDB
I remember watching the original Norwegian Nazi Zombie movie Dead Snow back in 2009, and loving it. It was cheap, stupid, ridiculously over-the-top, and clearly a blatant European attempt to recreate the genius of Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead Trilogy…but it definitely wasn’t bad. Now, all these years later, we’ve been blessed with a sequel. I don’t expect it to be as good as the original, but you never know. It just might surprise me, and even if it’s half as good, that won’t exactly be terrible.
“A young man’s recently deceased girlfriend mysteriously returns from the dead, but he slowly realizes she is not the way he remembered her.”
– IMDB
This is the one with the most intriguing plot. A girlfriend who rises from the grave? How fun! Aubrey Plaza is someone I generally like, Dane DeHaan often impresses, and John C. Reilly is big plus!
Are you wondering why you haven’t heard about this film? Well, it’s because the reviews were a bit…mixed. So, it got swept under the rug as far as marketing was concerned, and now it’s hard to find a copy of it.
…unless you’re me.
“A scheming couple put a struggling family man and his old friend through a series of increasingly twisted dares over the course of an evening at a local bar.”
– IMDB
This one, it may surprise you to know, has the best reviews out of all of them. Critics genuinely liked Cheap Thrills, so that of course gives it a huge boost. The premise, though, doesn’t really grab me, but of course among the cast is my lovely…my gorgeous…my future bride to be…
Who showed up in my previous HallowThreen, running from ghosts in Ty West’s The Innkeepers. Perhaps she should be a regular. I wouldn’t complain if she was in every HallowThreen from now on. I could “keep” her “inn” and show her a “cheap thrill” or two.
So there we have it. Take your pick! Which movie should I watch this year on almighty Halloween night?
I know there’s only like…5 of you out there who would ever get to the end of this post, much less care to vote, but please do! Hell, at least if I get 4 or more I’ll have a guaranteed winner (unless it’s 6, or 9, or 12…Hah! Yeah, right!)
– Rant Over
Cinema Rant 
Not being in to these horror adventures as you are, I figured the the second movie choice was the least psychologically damaging…….